Why Trying Too Hard Can Backfire

Ask a successful person what got them to where they are, and you'll probably hear some version of: "A lot of hard work."

It's an answer that makes intuitive sense. I'm sure you can think of examples where you believe you failed because you didn't try hard enough. In any endeavor, effort is certainly important.

But this simplification — the idea that putting more time, thought, or energy into something is guaranteed to give you better results — doesn't show the whole picture. Perhaps you're one point away from winning a game, and you put so much pressure on yourself that you not only cede the lead, but end up losing.

You land an interview for the job of your dreams and spend hours preparing a response for every possible question, only to fumble your words when you're actually in the room. Or you're a musician who's practiced a piece countless times, but when you step on stage, you freeze.

Sports psychologist Noel Brick calls this the "effort paradox": the more you try to control a behavior, the harder it becomes to do it naturally. As tennis great Pete Sampras once said: "I've found that if I just clear my mind and let my body do what it's learned, I play my best. If I start thinking, I get in trouble."

Tennis coach Tim Gallwey described this phenomenon as the difference between the "self 1" (your conscious mind, which is critical and overthinks) and "self 2" (your unconscious mind, which handles automatic behaviors). "Trust your body," he advised players. "If your body knows how to hit a forehand, then just let it happen; If it doesn't, then let it learn."

The conscious mind has a vastly smaller capacity than the unconscious mind, says psychologist Timothy D. Wilson. In his book Strangers to Ourselves, he writes that our body sends 11 million bits of information to our brain per second, but that we can only consciously process 40 of those snippets at a time.

It's a common instinct to try to put more conscious effort toward a situation as the stakes get higher. But sometimes the opposite reaction — to let go of control — is more useful.

Act the part

Another strategy is to treat whatever it is you're trying to do — ace a work presentation, host a podcast, or have a difficult conversation — as a performance. Research shows that acting in a certain way can help you embody those qualities.

In one experiment, participants who were instructed to act confidently during a mock job interview were perceived as more competent by interviewers, even when the participants themselves didn't feel particularly confident. What's more, the participants reported feeling more confident after the exercise.